Sugar-free-ish

I haven't eaten sweets for 3 days. And this morning I woke up at 6:30 ready to go. I'm not dragging. I'm not wishing for more sleep. In fact, my kids opted out of the last day of school party, so I didn't even set my alarm. I just woke up (at the time I normally like to wake up -- but don't usually do so, because I feel so dismally tired).

I've nibbled a few chocolate chips during this time (so I haven't counted no sweets on my 8 week chalenge -- but maybe I should, since I'm not doing it for the cash prize), but I'm proud of the sweets I haven't eaten. It's something that if I keep up for the rest of my life, I'd be healthy and happy and more energetic. "Eat in a way that you're proud of." I really liked this blog post about resolutions.
 
Problem is, little nibbles of chocolate eventually turn into standing at the kitchen counter eating handful after handful of chocolate chips and mixed nuts. Or cookie after brownie after sugar-laden-whatever. I've seen it more times than I can count. I get all sorts of motivation to not overeat sweets, so I give them up. And do really great for a while. Then I get confident and think "Oh, I can have just one." And in truth, I can. But "just one" has always turned into ten more for me.

The thing that gives me hope and a little satisfaction is that the times when I felt the sincere desire to avoid sweets have gotten closer and closer together. My last one was in October. The one before that was August. Before that, it was probably last October.

And I haven't exercised since I started this challenge. December is always tricky, but on top of that, I've been sugar-sluggish, and yesterday I got sick. See? Told you I have great excuses.

87 points (out of 205+ possible)

I'm not sure that contributing $20 into the pot for this healthy living challenge would have inspired me to take it more seriously. I'm not motivated by money.

The things I missed most or all of the days were not recording what I ate, not eating sweets, not exercising (!!), and I missed eating enough veggies a few days.

Recording my food has always been a struggle for me. I'll forget for part of the day, so I give up. Dumb.

I have had lots of fancy excuses for not exercising this week. Lots. I need my Body Pump class to build muscle and shrink my numbers, so my clothes fit better. And I love going to the gym, too. I just need to make it a priority.

I've had a few moments of wanting to limit/avoid sweets this week. The majority of the time I was content to take up residence inside a chocolate brownie.

Doing this has made me realize how few veggies I am eating lately. Being pregnant and having a new baby always messes with my routines, so I'm grateful for this challenge, so I can make that a priority again.

This week my goal is to not eat any sweets until AFTER I get all my fruits and veggies eaten. And make it to the gym a couple of times.

On the upside, I'm down 1/2 pound this week.

I am starting an 8 week Healthy Living Challenge with a few Facebook friends. It starts today, and I'm excited because I think it will help me make better choices during this season. I did not add money to the pot, but having the Facebook group as a support will be good for me.

Exercise hasn't been much of a priority since having Av 6 months ago. But I'm ready to make that a part of my routine again. I will do Body Pump on Monday and Wednesday evenings and yoga on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.

I did really well with not eating sweets for a few weeks in October, and I felt so good! I had so much more energy, which, in addition to getting a lot done, also helped me not be so irritable with my family. And yet I can't seem to stay away from the sugary energy-sappers.

Here's the link to the Healthy Living Challenge print out. 

Let me know if you're interested and I'll add you to the FB group.

Sugar

I have a long list of reasons why I don't want to eat sugar. Problem is, sometimes when I'm craving it, I don't remember why I don't want to eat it, or I only remember one or two reasons and I'm able to dismiss it and decide it's not that important. By writing them down, hopefully it will help me to choose better.

• Sugar makes me irritable. I've seen this more times than I can count. Problem is, it's not immediate. It's usually the next day when I can't stop myself from yelling at my kids that it becomes important to me.
• Sugar makes me tired. Again, not immediate. I can have a little sugar, but my usual consumption makes me super tired, which contributes to the grumpies.
• Sugar gives me a wet-towel-on-head feeling. I can think so much more clearly when I haven't been eating sugar. Not an immediate consequence.
• Sugar makes my stomach feel kind of blah. This one is immediate. It's fairly subtle, and I only recognize it because of my stomach woes I've had in the past few years, but it's there. This is one I always dismiss.
• Sugar is bad for my waistline. It's full of a lot of empty calories.
• When I eat sweets, I'm swapping healthy foods with high calorie treats. I'll eat several cookies instead of a good-for-my-body snack.
• There's a lot of buzz about cancer cells feeding on sugar. I don't know if it's true, but there's way too  much cancer in my family to dismiss it.

What are your reasons to eat healthier? Do you identify with any on my list?

Addiction

I recently heard the definition of an addiction that the LDS addiction recovery program uses: "anything that you turn to instead of Jesus Christ."

I have learned in the past few years that I am addicted to sweets and I turn to them when I'm tired, upset, stressed, sad, happy, etc.

Hearing this definition of an addiction was like a light for me. I turn to sugar instead of Jesus Christ. I can choose to turn to Christ instead.

Several times since then when I've caught myself craving something sweet and headed that way, I've been able to stop myself and define what I'm feeling: tired, grumpy, etc. and then say a little prayer: "Right now I feel _____. Please help me to feel [happy, calm, etc.]. Help me to not turn to sweets right now."

It's been an amazing blessing to all of a sudden feel okay, to not have those cravings.

Goals

When I'm pregnant and postpartum, I feel like I have a license to eat whatever I want. Cheetos? Yes, please. Donuts? Caramel popcorn? You bet.

Once I have the baby, I try to make up for everything I didn't eat because it made me nauseated while I was pregnant. Yeah. I've done a good job making up for all the chocolate I missed out on this pregnancy. mmm... Snickers cake... oops, this is a healthy living blog.

My goals are:

• no more candy bars.
• treats only on special occasions.
• [sigh] exercise. Normally I like to exercise, but I'm so tired lately that the thought makes me more tired. I will work in some kind of exercise every day: stretching, walking, push-ups, squats, something.
• lots of water. (nothing new for me, but I like giving myself props where I can.)

I'm back!

I started this blog four years ago, after the birth of Evy. I've neglected it for a while now, but I'm ready to start posting again. Av was born 6 weeks ago and I feel ready to start it up again. Also, this isn't a private blog, so you can add it to Google Reader if you choose.

Change for the Right Reasons

Written (and then never published) Spring 2011:

Like most people, I know how to lose weight:

Calories in (what I eat) - (minus) calories out (what my body burns) = if it's positive, I gain, if it's negative, I lose weight.

But like most people, keeping track of what I eat doesn't happen. And when I get stuck in a cycle of poor eating choices, I gain.

But losing weight has never been a very powerful motivator for me.

Lucky for me, I have a more pressing reason than losing weight to change how I eat: my digestive system sucks. When I eat poorly, I hurt. But apparently, hurting isn't enough reason to keep me from eating poorly. Ridiculous, I know.

Add to all this the emotional component: I'm frustrated and discouraged with my digestive issues, and I eat because I feel deprived and angry that I can't eat how I want, or to prove to myself that I can eat a food that has bothered me before. Double ridiculous.

I won a contest for six-months of sessions with a holistic health coach. I was a little nervous about it at first, but it has been a great experience for me. She has introduced new foods to me that I never would have had the courage to experiment with. She challenges me to keep myself in balance, by taking time for the things I care most about, and letting go of the things I don't. She asks questions and listens. She is gracious and patient. I would highly recommend her.  She gave me several books about IBS that have helped me understand my body better, and has given me the tools to make good choices for the right reasons. Anyway, that's a whole other post.

I really liked something she emailed to me recently about my struggle with over-eating and eating the wrong things for the wrong reasons:

I find I eat foods I'd rather not eat because something is feeling out of control. I have lost my peace in that moment. I feel like I am missing something from my own life and eating junk is a way to feel a spark of goodness in the day, momentarily. I know you know this but try to really reach awareness in those moments. Next time you are finding yourself reaching for something mindlessly, ask yourself what you are really feeling in that moment. Boredom? Out of control? Drained? Loss of self?

Try to remind yourself that you are not those feelings. You really are a powerful woman who can make good choices for herself. The mind is a battlefield of positive vs. negative thoughts. Each time we choose to tip the balance to more positive, self-affirming and supportive thoughts we are laying stronger, sturdier bricks down as our own foundation. You are already on your way.

I feel sometimes like I'm battling between the good and bad angels on my shoulders: "Eat that!" "You know that will hurt your stomach." "Yum! Eat it!" "You aren't even hungry"  Having that awareness in those moments has already helped me.