Wow.

May 2008 (211 pounds) -- October 2008 (182 pounds)

Vacation Argh!

Just based on how I feel in my clothes, I think I've probably gained a few pounds this week. I weighed myself on my grandpa's scale today and that said 183--with my clothes on and mid-afternoon, but like I said, my clothes don't lie. Neither does my momma belly.

That said, I have turned down a lot of treats this week. I also ate a lot of treats, but that's not the point.

One more week -- and I can start exercising again. Yee-haw!

Scale Shock

The other day I weighed Lucille on our bathroom scale. Then she told me it was my turn, so I stepped on. I do this every morning, so no big deal, right? What I saw made me heart stop for a minute. 202?!? What?? Oh yeah, I'm holding Evy. She weighs 15 pounds, and I was wearing shoes. Phew! Funny.

That night I measured myself and my waist measurement was up 1/2 inch or so. Argh! I love sugar too much. And I only went to the gym once last week. Back to taking this more seriously...

Sugar!

After going to the Naturopath last week, I slowly eased back into eating sugar (and I've quite enjoyed it, I might add). I had one day of the breast sensations, attacked them with extra acidophilus, and though I'm still eating a little sugar, I've felt really good since that day.

Here's my issue: I really like losing weight. But giving up sugar just to help lose weight? Has never worked for me. I'm actually a little "bummed" that I've been able to eat sugar, just because I'd done so well off of it, and I'd seen so much progress! Funny how ridiculous I am sometimes.

I'm technically at my pre-Evy weight now. I'm not the same size yet, but that's coming. However, I was about 10 pounds up when I got pregnant with Evy, so my goal is 175-ish.

I want to set a goal to have one treat a week, and make it so I have something to look forward to. But I feel so deprived and rebellious right now, like I "deserve" to make up for all the lost treats, that I don't think that would work! Ridiculous? Yes.

But I really want to shed these last pounds. Really, really want to.

My goals:

• Go to the gym 3 times a week.
  
• Three days a week John and I do push-ups, and the other 3 days we do side planks and sit-ups. I love that we're setting a good example for our kids. JuJu and Lucille usually exercise with us. JuJu is actually pretty good! She does her push-ups on her toes, even. She's a trooper.
• As always, no soda, candy bars, pre-packaged cookies, etc.
• Lose the last 8-10 pounds in my sleep. :)
  

I Cheated

Two pounds in three days! My secret? Go running. Sweat like a wild pig, weigh yourself before you have anything to drink. I'm such a cheater.

John

I have done really well at no-sugar since Sunday. When I'm off sugar, I feel so in control and in charge. I love the feeling.

But it has happened a couple of times now, where I give up sugar so well for 3 or 4 days, and then I have a day or two of horrible fatigue, vicious sugar cravings, depression, and apathy about not eating sugar.

I read online that sometimes when the yeast is dying off from lack of sugar to feed on, that it gives off gases, or toxins that make you feel so crummy, almost flu-like. And the yeast is begging for something to eat, so you crave sugar like mad!

Supposedly it goes away after a while, but I haven't successfully made it through one of these times without giving in just a little. I realized that I was sabotaging myself by having sweets on hand to consume. Today, I'm fine and am not tempted in the least by the chocolate chips in our pantry. But on the days when I feel so rotten, I give in to just a few ... or not just a few, as the half a dozen chocolate chip cookies I consumed two weeks ago will testify.

I have tried to prepare myself as well as possible this time around. I have rice crackers and garden vegetable cream cheese to eat. I made unsweetened granola -- which is actually pretty good, by the way -- that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I have tried to think of "allowed" foods that are a little "splurgy" for me, so I don't feel so deprived and rebellious. I am making a hot spinach and artichoke heart dip later today that I love. (I've never actually made it, but I've had it at restaurants and at other people's houses.) I am going to have John hide the chocolate chips, so those can't even tempt me.

Sugar-Free Again

I took a little break from my sugar-free diet, but I'm back at it again, thanks to the painful sensations in my breasts, and a very fussy baby.

As much of a pain it has been to fight thrush, it has been a blessing, in that I'm consistently losing weight because of the sugar-free diet I've been on. I eat pretty healthy meals; it's all the sweets I eat that normally keep me from losing weight. And for whatever reason, I have a very hard time not eating sweets in order to lose weight. I'd rather exercise more, than cut out sweets.

Tomorrow John and I are starting a program to work up to doing 100 push-ups in six weeks. Buff arms here we come. I'm excited about doing this. And it's especially fun to have this goal together. We have also been doing side planks every night together.

We have "before" pictures of us, but I can't bring myself to post them until I get to that glorious "after" place.

I am loving the gym! I have been rotating 3 classes, and I enjoy all three of them: Body Pump, Body Jam, and step aerobics. The Body Pump is probably my favorite of the three. It's a strength-training class, that works all major muscle groups. So fun! The Body Jam is similar to Lynette's class (back in Provo at Gold's Gym), in that it is a dance aerobics. Step is my least favorite, but I like it because it gets my heart rate up and keeps it up the best. I feel pretty uncoordinated in Step and Body Jam, but the teachers are way fun and encouraging, and it's getting better each time I go. The other thing I do at the gym is the elliptical. I measured myself again today, and my measurements were all down! What a great feeling to see the rewards of all my sweat!

Daily Weighing

I got the idea to weigh myself every day from Flylady. Her thought is, that if your "number" is down a little from the day before, celebrate with a glass of water. If it's up a bit from the day before, you can use that as motivation to take an extra walk that day.

She said that once she started weighing herself daily, she found that each week, her numbers would go down slowly, until Sunday, she would eat a big brunch and she would be right back up each Monday, when she weighed herself. So once she found this out by her daily weighing, she modified her Sunday brunch and kept the trend going downward, instead of stagnating overall.

In reality, the day-to-day numbers don't really mean much. The important thing is the overall trend: up or down. For me, I like the daily report card. This doesn't work for everyone.

Even though I weigh myself every day, I will only post a couple of my numbers each week.

On Being Fat and Buying Clothes

I think there's a balance between resigning yourself to being overweight by buying a whole wardrobe, and refusing to have anything decent to wear because you can't stand buying that bigger "number."

I understand being frugal and all that, but you have to love the skin you're in -- where you are today. I am doing everything I can to change my "number," but in the meantime, I bought 2 pairs of size 16 capris and 4 larger shirts that I feel cute in.

Most of my pre-pregnancy shirts are form-fitting, and not flattering because they show my postpartum padding. Instead of continuing to wear my maternity tops and ill-fitting, frumpy clothes, I rotate these few items of clothing that fit me so I can feel cute every day.

I think that people who wear clothes that are too small, actually look overweight because of it, whether they are actually overweight or not. Muffin tops are all the rage, it seems, and I'm not into that fad. And someone who might be a little overweight, who wears clothes that fit well, looks better in the end because of it.

Happily, my size 16 capris are way loose on me now, and my 14s almost fit right. Woo-Hoo!

Back to the Gym

I had a great workout last night. I went to step aerobics for the second time this week and loved it! I felt so selfish, in a good way, if that's possible. I was doing something good for me, and enjoying every minute of that sweaty hour. Monday was my first day back at the gym and I over did it. I came home and felt tired, irritable and sluggish the rest of the evening. I was just so excited to be back and I gave myself too much credit for how in shape I am (not).

Last night I used John's Couch to 5K program and exercised for 60 seconds, walked for 90 seconds, alternating for 20 minutes. Then I went and lifted weights for 20 minutes and did abs for 10. Fun stuff!