For the past year and a half, I’ve struggled with constipation. I haven't talked much about it to many people (since it's not really the greatest conversation piece!), but I feel like I've learned so much that someone who has a similar trial might be able to gain something from my experience. The following is a detailed account of my struggles. Please don’t read it if you're uncomfortable with poop talk. 'Cause there's lots of it. Poop talk. Not poop. ☺
May 2008 - baby #3 weighed in at 10+ pounds after both an 18-hour failed induction (where I recognized afterwards that I was really constipated, which may have contributed to it failing) and an 8 hour successful, though hellishly painful (even with an epidural), induced labor.
July 2008 until June 2009 - Within a couple of months of having Evy, I began experiencing severe constipation. If I didn’t use glycolax every day, plus another laxative once a week or so, everything would stop completely and my abdomen would feel hard and achy. I would go days and days without a b.m. During this time, I was exercising regularly, eating relatively well, only whole grains, lots of fruits and veggies (I discovered green drinks during this time), for fluids I drank only water (and lots of it!), and I even took supplemental fiber, and probiotics. I was losing a lot of baby weight during this time, but it was interesting to watch the pounds literally fall off whenever my bowels would finally move. There are a couple more obvious ones: 8/02/08, 9/05/08, and 11/13/08 where I lost several pounds within just a few days. I was being smart about losing weight, but while I was losing weight, I was also getting backed up and then finally eliminating it all at once.
Fall 2008 - visited my PCP - he counseled me to drink more water, eat more fiber, exercise... So, the 13 glasses of water and 35 grams of fiber a day, and the 3 hours of exercise a week aren’t enough? Ya gotta love it when doctors ignore what you’re already doing to self-treat.
January 2009 - went back to my PCP: he counseled me to double my glycolax, and he also gave me a referral to go see a gastroenterologist, who was booked out for two months.
March 2009 - first visit to the gastro. He ordered a colonic transit study.
April 2009 - Colonic transit study: basically, I swallowed a pill with little, tiny rings inside the pill that were visible on an x-ray, and then I went in every morning for a week to be x-rayed to see how they’re moving along. No glycolax through the whole test. Ouch! This is where I gained four pounds in a week (4/21/09) (though it didn’t help that my sisters and mom were in town and we visited the almond roca factory. twice.)
April 2009 - Gastro called - he said my colon transit is normal, until the end of the large intestine, where all the pills had gathered by the end of the week. He recommended pelvic floor rehabilitation to strengthen those muscles, which can help with regularity. Pelvic floor rehab specialist: booked out two months.
June to August 2009 - Rehab Kristi. These appointments were so interesting and educational. She gave me some foot exercises, which are supposed to stimulate the nerves and muscles in the pelvic floor. She cited a study that showed them to be more effective than Kegels. You can find them here. She also showed me a toileting “technique” and had me do some pelvic floor awareness exercises that were interesting. She helped correct a diastasis recti (common pregnancy-induced separation of the abdominal wall) and gave me a “morning bowel routine”: warm drink first thing in the morning, then eat breakfast, plus set a time each day to sit on the toilet for 5-10 minutes. All these exercises helped only very slightly. The only improvement I saw was that I was able to decrease the amount of glycolax I’d been taking.
August 2009 - Went back to the gastro. Said it was possible I had a rectocele. He sent me to a colo-rectal specialist. Never even knew those existed.
September 2009 - Colo-rectal specialist: Confirmed that I do have a minor rectocele. Not likely the cause of all the struggles. Invited me to come back in 3 weeks to be tortured. Until then, he told me to add caffeine to my morning routine. He suggested coffee or green tea. I went with Vivarin. The combination of the caffeine (which acts as a stimulant on the bowels), the warm beverage (which warms your body/intestines up), and the food (gastro-colic reflex (like you see in babies: eat, poop, eat, poop) -- it’s not as strong or as noticeable in adults, but it tends to be strongest in the morning, when you haven’t eaten all night) has helped quite a bit, but hasn’t completely solved the problem.
Yesterday 2009 - a day which will live in infamy, much like the labors of my three children, the difference being I didn’t get a sweet bundle to take home with me. The torture he scheduled me for was a test called Ano-rectal Manometry test. It was invasive and painful and miserable and unkind. And I am so grateful for it. He actually found something wrong with me! Thanks to the labor and delivery of my third child (remember the glass in rectum post?), the involuntary muscles in my rectum were traumatized, causing them to contract when I try to poop instead of relax.
It’s been a really long, really annoying struggle, but I’m very optimistic about it all right now.
What’s next? I have an appointment with the Pelvic floor rehab specialist in two weeks. She and the colo-rectal guy are working to get me a pelvic floor stimulation system. Sounds like a party.
I’ve thought a lot about all these kind, knowledgable people who have done their best to help me. These random, undesirable occupations such as a colo-rectal specialist, a pelvic floor specialist, a gastroenterologist: it seems like you’d have to have a really good attitude to be able to talk about your profession, not to mention that you have to have a really kind heart to even go there in the first place! I suppose you could argue the kind heart for many other health care professions, but there’s something special (at least to me!) about someone who chooses butts. Heart docs? Eh. Three cheers for the butt docs.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Potty Humor
Guest posting is my favorite and handsome husband. If you survived my post, and don't mind John's hilarious inability to take anything seriously (at least in the blog world), read on:
Laura asked me to write this post for her. She asked me to do this even though I’m completely irreverent and silly. Though maybe that’s why she asked me to write this post for her. You see, a while ago, Laura stopped pooping.
Seriously, she hasn’t pooped in 16 months – more or less. Talk about your crappy (har!) situation!
The story goes back much further than 16 months. But I’m not here to talk about how she went from painful child birth, to eating 14,593 lbs of fiber and drinking 1,342 gals of water everyday, to needing a pooping coach. I’m just here to talk about the colo-rectal specialist – the butt doctor.
The idea of someone becoming a butt doctor is fascinating in its own right. I mean, how does one decide that nothing sounds better than dealing with poop and anuses all day? Laura’s butt doctor says it was helping people with “these type” of problems and seeing how grateful they were. And while I am very grateful – though not as grateful as Laura – that he made that choice, it’s still hard for me to comprehend. I mean, I get warm fuzzies helping someone in a crappy (har!) situation too, but it doesn’t mean I like it. For example, one time I was changing a dear, sweet old man (don’t ask. Laura is still paying for that one) when he accidentally pooped in my hand – I wish I were kidding. Helping him when he couldn’t help himself made me feel good about myself, but it did NOT make me want to become a professional poo catcher.
But I’ve seriously digressed. Where was I? Oh yes, Laura’s butt doctor. After thoroughly stumping her PCP, the gastroenterologist, and a pelvic floor therapist (a.k.a the pooping coach), she ended up at the colo-rectal specialist.
At the first appointment, we sat and chatted about labor and feelings of glass shards in the rectum during childbirth and the numerous possibilities for chronic constipation. And then ... and then we were caught completely off guard. I mean, I guess we should have considered that the butt doctor might want to do a butt inspection, but we didn’t consider any such thing. Not until he said, “drop your pants and bend over the table” or something like that, anyway.
The results of this sneak attack on Laura’s trap door? Another test. One that wouldn’t be a surprise at all, but rather a full rear assault. Laura was getting an ARM test – Ano-rectal Manometry test. Doesn’t Ano-rectal Manometery sound like a weapon used in a war? “Surrender now or you will experience the full power of our Ano-rectal Manometery!”
Yesterday was the test. We went to a big open field, and when the time of our appointment came, a large saucer-shaped thing flew over us, sucked Laura up onto a large exam table, and a green man stuck massive probes into the nether regions of her digestive system.
Actually, we went to the doctor’s office and there was no saucer, just a green man and anal probing. Doctor Green (get it? Green man? Har!) pulled out (stuck in?) his probes and got to work.
The first probe was a dry sponge thing, which based on Laura’s facial expressions and the way she attempted to powderize my hand, must have hurt like ... well, hurt like a serious anal probing. At some point in here, she emphatically declared, “You are SOOOO getting a prostate exam” at which time I pointed at Evy, “Me? This is her fault, not mine.” Anyway, with the sponge as a rectal resident, she then had to, “squeeze like you’re on a crowded elevator with your boss and you have a fart that is really trying to come out.”
The next step was to send a balloon spelunking in there. He then started to pump it up, “Tell me when it feels like you’d recognize that you might need to go to the bathroom soon.” She didn’t say this, though I think it would have been appropriate, “you have a balloon shoved up my a$$ and I’m supposed to tell you when it feels like there’s something in there that wants to come out? Seriously?” As he continued to pump, she also had to tell him when “you’d be looking for a bathroom” and finally, “when you’d push the kids down to get there first.”
The final probe was finger applicated, if you know what I mean. While Laura writhed in agony on the table, the Green man did his best to piss off the nerves running to her pelvic region. Supposedly he did this to see if they were damaged (they were). That’s what he said, but it sure looked to me like he was doing it to damage the nerves himself. And then like frosting on a cake, he announced after torturing her for a while, that the probe was in wrong and he had to do it all again.
About this time Evy picked up and ate a green Skittle that I’d dropped on the butt doctor’s floor. Wouldn’t that make a great Facebook status? “Just ate a green skittle off the butt doctor's floor.”
Also about this time, the equipment technician announced that he was “anal about his data”. Laura announced, and rightfully so, “I’m the only one in the room allowed to use the phrase ‘anal about that’ right now.” She later conceded that the doctor was also allowed that liberty, given that he had his finger stuck in her back door.
So, 45 minutes of probing later, the doctor beamed us back to earth and gave us the results. Laura’s involuntary rectal muscles are apparently confused. Instead of relaxing when she pushes, they squeeze harder. It’s hard to get poop out that way.
And so, at least all the probing resulted in a prognosis. Nothing would have been worse than going through all that crap (har!) for nothing. To my glee, the doctor did, however, say, “and you’re a bigger woman” during some part of the discussion allowing me to throw in the standard, “did he just call you fat?” remark. I thought it was really funny. No one else did. Alas, the life of the easily amused.
And since this is Laura’s healthy living blog, I have to add that as we left the office and I said, “Let’s swing by Costco and get a Great American Chocolate Cake as comfort food to make you feel better.” She replied, “No, John, that’s what you want for comfort food.” I responded, “Fine. Lets swing by and pick up a stalk of celery then. Whatever. Sounds like crappy (har!) comfort food to me.” Aren’t you proud of her, though? I am. (And I still want chocolate cake).
Next up: back to the poop coach for anal electro-therapy. Sounds shockingly stimulating. The idea being to shock the muscles into remembering their actual job. This is the same idea behind spanking your kids when they’re bad. “Relax. I said RELAX! Dang-it! That’s it, 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... ZAP! Next time do as you’re told.” Good times.
Laura asked me to write this post for her. She asked me to do this even though I’m completely irreverent and silly. Though maybe that’s why she asked me to write this post for her. You see, a while ago, Laura stopped pooping.
Seriously, she hasn’t pooped in 16 months – more or less. Talk about your crappy (har!) situation!
The story goes back much further than 16 months. But I’m not here to talk about how she went from painful child birth, to eating 14,593 lbs of fiber and drinking 1,342 gals of water everyday, to needing a pooping coach. I’m just here to talk about the colo-rectal specialist – the butt doctor.
The idea of someone becoming a butt doctor is fascinating in its own right. I mean, how does one decide that nothing sounds better than dealing with poop and anuses all day? Laura’s butt doctor says it was helping people with “these type” of problems and seeing how grateful they were. And while I am very grateful – though not as grateful as Laura – that he made that choice, it’s still hard for me to comprehend. I mean, I get warm fuzzies helping someone in a crappy (har!) situation too, but it doesn’t mean I like it. For example, one time I was changing a dear, sweet old man (don’t ask. Laura is still paying for that one) when he accidentally pooped in my hand – I wish I were kidding. Helping him when he couldn’t help himself made me feel good about myself, but it did NOT make me want to become a professional poo catcher.
But I’ve seriously digressed. Where was I? Oh yes, Laura’s butt doctor. After thoroughly stumping her PCP, the gastroenterologist, and a pelvic floor therapist (a.k.a the pooping coach), she ended up at the colo-rectal specialist.
At the first appointment, we sat and chatted about labor and feelings of glass shards in the rectum during childbirth and the numerous possibilities for chronic constipation. And then ... and then we were caught completely off guard. I mean, I guess we should have considered that the butt doctor might want to do a butt inspection, but we didn’t consider any such thing. Not until he said, “drop your pants and bend over the table” or something like that, anyway.
The results of this sneak attack on Laura’s trap door? Another test. One that wouldn’t be a surprise at all, but rather a full rear assault. Laura was getting an ARM test – Ano-rectal Manometry test. Doesn’t Ano-rectal Manometery sound like a weapon used in a war? “Surrender now or you will experience the full power of our Ano-rectal Manometery!”
Yesterday was the test. We went to a big open field, and when the time of our appointment came, a large saucer-shaped thing flew over us, sucked Laura up onto a large exam table, and a green man stuck massive probes into the nether regions of her digestive system.
Actually, we went to the doctor’s office and there was no saucer, just a green man and anal probing. Doctor Green (get it? Green man? Har!) pulled out (stuck in?) his probes and got to work.
The first probe was a dry sponge thing, which based on Laura’s facial expressions and the way she attempted to powderize my hand, must have hurt like ... well, hurt like a serious anal probing. At some point in here, she emphatically declared, “You are SOOOO getting a prostate exam” at which time I pointed at Evy, “Me? This is her fault, not mine.” Anyway, with the sponge as a rectal resident, she then had to, “squeeze like you’re on a crowded elevator with your boss and you have a fart that is really trying to come out.”
The next step was to send a balloon spelunking in there. He then started to pump it up, “Tell me when it feels like you’d recognize that you might need to go to the bathroom soon.” She didn’t say this, though I think it would have been appropriate, “you have a balloon shoved up my a$$ and I’m supposed to tell you when it feels like there’s something in there that wants to come out? Seriously?” As he continued to pump, she also had to tell him when “you’d be looking for a bathroom” and finally, “when you’d push the kids down to get there first.”
The final probe was finger applicated, if you know what I mean. While Laura writhed in agony on the table, the Green man did his best to piss off the nerves running to her pelvic region. Supposedly he did this to see if they were damaged (they were). That’s what he said, but it sure looked to me like he was doing it to damage the nerves himself. And then like frosting on a cake, he announced after torturing her for a while, that the probe was in wrong and he had to do it all again.
About this time Evy picked up and ate a green Skittle that I’d dropped on the butt doctor’s floor. Wouldn’t that make a great Facebook status? “Just ate a green skittle off the butt doctor's floor.”
Also about this time, the equipment technician announced that he was “anal about his data”. Laura announced, and rightfully so, “I’m the only one in the room allowed to use the phrase ‘anal about that’ right now.” She later conceded that the doctor was also allowed that liberty, given that he had his finger stuck in her back door.
So, 45 minutes of probing later, the doctor beamed us back to earth and gave us the results. Laura’s involuntary rectal muscles are apparently confused. Instead of relaxing when she pushes, they squeeze harder. It’s hard to get poop out that way.
And so, at least all the probing resulted in a prognosis. Nothing would have been worse than going through all that crap (har!) for nothing. To my glee, the doctor did, however, say, “and you’re a bigger woman” during some part of the discussion allowing me to throw in the standard, “did he just call you fat?” remark. I thought it was really funny. No one else did. Alas, the life of the easily amused.
And since this is Laura’s healthy living blog, I have to add that as we left the office and I said, “Let’s swing by Costco and get a Great American Chocolate Cake as comfort food to make you feel better.” She replied, “No, John, that’s what you want for comfort food.” I responded, “Fine. Lets swing by and pick up a stalk of celery then. Whatever. Sounds like crappy (har!) comfort food to me.” Aren’t you proud of her, though? I am. (And I still want chocolate cake).
Next up: back to the poop coach for anal electro-therapy. Sounds shockingly stimulating. The idea being to shock the muscles into remembering their actual job. This is the same idea behind spanking your kids when they’re bad. “Relax. I said RELAX! Dang-it! That’s it, 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... ZAP! Next time do as you’re told.” Good times.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
I'm Brave, Too ... ?
Other fitness friends have been brave enough to post their progress photos. I've sort of been waiting until I achieved my goal size, but since I don't know what that is, and because I feel brave tonight, here goes:
July 2008 --------------- Sept 2009
199 pounds -------------- 172 pounds
waist: 38.5 -------------- waist: 34
hips: 46.5 --------------- hips: 41.5
thigh: 27.5 --------------- thigh: 24.5
upper arm: 12.25 ----------- upper arm: 11.5
July 2008 --------------- Sept 2009
199 pounds -------------- 172 pounds
waist: 38.5 -------------- waist: 34
hips: 46.5 --------------- hips: 41.5
thigh: 27.5 --------------- thigh: 24.5
upper arm: 12.25 ----------- upper arm: 11.5
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
odds and ends
I re-measured myself last night. I saw one happy change: in my waist, which I'm happy about! I've been working out really consistently and enjoying them a lot. I've changed my workout goals: 3 (or 4) days a week, I'll do cardio classes, and I'll do my body Pump class just once a week. I've been doing Body Pump twice a week, and I hope that by changing this up, I'll burn off the fat surrounding my muscles, so you can actually see them! And hopefully my numbers will keep dropping.
And miraculously, my sweet tooth has been really absent lately. Strange, because I haven't done anything differently, but I won't complain.
My friend Caryn works for the company Beach Body. Through her, I found the blog of the creator of some of the Beach Body products. Her post on the power of positive thinking was very inspiring. And not just for getting fit, but for all aspects of your life.
And miraculously, my sweet tooth has been really absent lately. Strange, because I haven't done anything differently, but I won't complain.
My friend Caryn works for the company Beach Body. Through her, I found the blog of the creator of some of the Beach Body products. Her post on the power of positive thinking was very inspiring. And not just for getting fit, but for all aspects of your life.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
A Smaller Waist/Hips/Thighs
"Self discipline is remembering what you really want." (Flylady)
What do you really want?
A clean home?
To be caught up on Facebook and Google Reader?
Happy, well-adjusted children?
A smaller waist?
To be debt-free -- home, car and school?
More knowledge?
To be more charitable?
What am I doing today to get what I really want?
Among other things, but related to this blog, I want a smaller waist/hips/thighs. I've decided, and now is the time to prove it. Every meal, every bite (smaller portion sizes), every day I choose to exercise or not.
I'm not buying treats, and there's not much we can make in the way of treats with what we have at home. But (and this is important for the rebel in me) I'm not off sweets. I'm just not buying them.
I will continue my goal to exercise 4 days a week, plus the 6-Minute No Excuses Workout every day. I'm not going for size 4 here, but I do want to feel more comfortable in my body.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
My Two Cents
"Really? You like to exercise, but you didn't used to? Those words really give me hope!"
I've never been good at sports, I never enjoyed P.E. in school, and I never exercised in college unless it was for a class. After I had JuJu, my friend invited me to go to the gym with her. At first I had no desire and I was afraid to commit to a membership. When I did go, I felt like an outsider, like I didn't belong. I didn't have cute gym clothes or a great body, and it was hard to be there with people I didn't know. It was a dance aerobics class and the moves were fast and confusing.
It took a good month before I got the moves and felt comfortable there. Within a couple of months I actually started looking forward to going. Now, I crave it, and I miss it terribly when I can't go. When we were on our trip last month, I got really antsy a couple of times, and just needed to let off some pent-up nerves and stress by running or hiking or anything physical. We would go do something and I'd feel so much better afterwards. Exercise makes me feel good, more energy, lighter steps. It's amazing to me how much less energy I had while not exercising consistently last month.
I still have ups and downs as far as my desire to exercise goes, but I've tasted what it feels like to love it and I'm hooked.
To those of you who don't like to exercise, my thoughts:
The other thing she talked about was how our bodies are made to run and work, and that the easiest way to avoid disease and problems in old age is to exercise and eat well. She's 54 and said she has as much energy as she had when she was 32. (So true! Exercise is just like eating and sleeping: our bodies require it to be healthy. And you can pay for the gym now, or medical bills later.)
Anyway, just my two cents. And an offer to my local friends: my gym offers a free class for someone coming for the first time. Let me know if you want to come with me and I'll be your gym buddy. I usually go Mondays and Tuesdays at 5 pm, and Saturday morning at 8 am, and then another day or two on Wed, Thur, or Fri at 5 or 6, depending on my schedule.
Happy Healthy Living!
I've never been good at sports, I never enjoyed P.E. in school, and I never exercised in college unless it was for a class. After I had JuJu, my friend invited me to go to the gym with her. At first I had no desire and I was afraid to commit to a membership. When I did go, I felt like an outsider, like I didn't belong. I didn't have cute gym clothes or a great body, and it was hard to be there with people I didn't know. It was a dance aerobics class and the moves were fast and confusing.
It took a good month before I got the moves and felt comfortable there. Within a couple of months I actually started looking forward to going. Now, I crave it, and I miss it terribly when I can't go. When we were on our trip last month, I got really antsy a couple of times, and just needed to let off some pent-up nerves and stress by running or hiking or anything physical. We would go do something and I'd feel so much better afterwards. Exercise makes me feel good, more energy, lighter steps. It's amazing to me how much less energy I had while not exercising consistently last month.
I still have ups and downs as far as my desire to exercise goes, but I've tasted what it feels like to love it and I'm hooked.
To those of you who don't like to exercise, my thoughts:
- Buy something cute to work out in. I feel frumpy when I wear t-shirts and I look thinner in certain outfits.
- Try lots of different activities to find one that you like: sports, workout videos, walking, classes at the gym. I did yoga a couple days ago and that was interesting, in a good way. It was relaxing and challenging, and something different I can try on days when my energy is lower.
- Listen to music or books on an Ipod to distract you.
- Stop when you're not enjoying an activity and do something else: if I'm on the treadmill, I'll go lift weights for a couple of minutes. I also change up my speed and incline on the treadmill and set goals for myself: run for 30 seconds, walk for 2 minutes, repeat a couple times, for example.
- Go at your own pace. Your body can tell you if you're doing too much. In other words, don't guilt yourself into working out too hard and hating it and making your body sore and miserable. I have no problem leaving a class to go rest for a minute, if I'm working too hard.
- Start slow. This is a big one. Even though you can physically do more, you need to work up slowly. When you do too much, you feel sore and miserable and never want to exercise again, or worse, you can injure yourself. When you build slowly, you feel energized and excited to go again. Check out John's favorite beginners running program.
The other thing she talked about was how our bodies are made to run and work, and that the easiest way to avoid disease and problems in old age is to exercise and eat well. She's 54 and said she has as much energy as she had when she was 32. (So true! Exercise is just like eating and sleeping: our bodies require it to be healthy. And you can pay for the gym now, or medical bills later.)
Anyway, just my two cents. And an offer to my local friends: my gym offers a free class for someone coming for the first time. Let me know if you want to come with me and I'll be your gym buddy. I usually go Mondays and Tuesdays at 5 pm, and Saturday morning at 8 am, and then another day or two on Wed, Thur, or Fri at 5 or 6, depending on my schedule.
Happy Healthy Living!
Friday, August 21, 2009
Why green drinks? What's the benefit?
My response:
Green drinks me feel really healthy. They help me want to choose thin/healthy. When I don't have them, my body begs for them. Also, they can replace a meal (one of the 5 small meals you should eat every day) and have relatively few calories and are really good-tasting and good for you. Since they're sweet, I don't crave other sugar when I drink them. And flax seed is really good for you (google it).
Green drinks me feel really healthy. They help me want to choose thin/healthy. When I don't have them, my body begs for them. Also, they can replace a meal (one of the 5 small meals you should eat every day) and have relatively few calories and are really good-tasting and good for you. Since they're sweet, I don't crave other sugar when I drink them. And flax seed is really good for you (google it).
Thursday, August 20, 2009
decisions, decisions...
I've been having a debate with myself these past few days: thin or not-so-thin?
They say that "nothing tastes as good as thin feels," but how thin is thin?
This is all very irrational and emotionally-driven, but I'm not feeling tip-top emotionally, so my rationalizing skills aren't tip-top, either.
Right now, I'm thin-ish. Size 12 for someone 6 feet tall is thin-ish. Problem is, I KNOW I can tone my body more and I really want to do it. But that takes a lot. of. work. And I'm working pretty hard, but I'm eating a lot of treats, too.
And lately, when I'm confronted with treats, I've been telling myself "I don't really want to be any thinner. I'll just maintain where I'm at, and enjoy this treat."
And then I go to the gym and I'm consumed with the desire to be at a higher fitness level and I get really excited to exercise 6 days a week and flatten my belly.
And then I go home and eat 2 more brownies.
Goal: more green drinks
They say that "nothing tastes as good as thin feels," but how thin is thin?
This is all very irrational and emotionally-driven, but I'm not feeling tip-top emotionally, so my rationalizing skills aren't tip-top, either.
Right now, I'm thin-ish. Size 12 for someone 6 feet tall is thin-ish. Problem is, I KNOW I can tone my body more and I really want to do it. But that takes a lot. of. work. And I'm working pretty hard, but I'm eating a lot of treats, too.
And lately, when I'm confronted with treats, I've been telling myself "I don't really want to be any thinner. I'll just maintain where I'm at, and enjoy this treat."
And then I go to the gym and I'm consumed with the desire to be at a higher fitness level and I get really excited to exercise 6 days a week and flatten my belly.
And then I go home and eat 2 more brownies.
Goal: more green drinks
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Feeling Soft
I didn't do very well at exercising every day. I feel soft. The Body Pump class I go to helps me feel ... tight? strong. I missed it a lot. I only gained 2 pounds, but that's 7000 calories I get to work off. again. argh.
Not only that, but I'm not as in shape as I was when I left a month ago. I can't work as hard, for as long, and I can't use as heavy of weights. It's really amazing how much more energy I have when I'm exercising regularly. My thighs had also started feeling tighter before I left, and they feel soft now, too. argh.
Goals:
Exercise 4 times a week
Have a green drink every day
Not buy anymore chocolate chips... this week. or next.
To offset this utterly whine-fest post, I need to name a few positives.
I had a fun time on our vacation.
My body works.
I like to exercise. I didn't use to, so I consider that a great blessing.
I'm not so soft that my clothes don't fit.
There's always repentance.
Not only that, but I'm not as in shape as I was when I left a month ago. I can't work as hard, for as long, and I can't use as heavy of weights. It's really amazing how much more energy I have when I'm exercising regularly. My thighs had also started feeling tighter before I left, and they feel soft now, too. argh.
Goals:
Exercise 4 times a week
Have a green drink every day
Not buy anymore chocolate chips... this week. or next.
To offset this utterly whine-fest post, I need to name a few positives.
I had a fun time on our vacation.
My body works.
I like to exercise. I didn't use to, so I consider that a great blessing.
I'm not so soft that my clothes don't fit.
There's always repentance.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Mid-Trip Goals
A few goals for the remainder of my trip:
- Some form of exercise every day: 10 pushups, 10 situps, 10 leg lifts on each side, 10 squats, etc. Anything is better than nothing.
- Look at packages for calories of what I eat. This helps curb some mindless eating for me.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
ER&E Report
Exercise: I haven't been good at getting exercise in every day. I have been doing daily exercises to strengthen my lower abs (diastasis recti) as well as my pelvic floor (information for a future post). That ought to count for something. ☺
Food: I've done okay. I need to go get some spinach to get back on green drinks. They really make me feel good.
Treats: Not so good. I noticed an interesting trend: I ate more treats on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays than I ate the other days of the week. Rebel? I think so.
I'm too tired to make any goals for this one.
Food: I've done okay. I need to go get some spinach to get back on green drinks. They really make me feel good.
Treats: Not so good. I noticed an interesting trend: I ate more treats on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays than I ate the other days of the week. Rebel? I think so.
I'm too tired to make any goals for this one.
Me, Myself, and Thigh
As I mentioned before, I've been stuck in a bit of a rut for the past 7 months, as far as my weight goes. I've made a little progress in my inches since that time, but I'm stuck. And I realized that it's because I don't have a quantifiable goal. My goal had been to get to 170-175, which was where I was pre-JuJu, and I've done that (a couple times-argh!). So last night I decided to focus on one number and work every day on that.
I selected my thighs. I've never paid much attention to my thighs, and I don't even know what number to aim for, but I can see that they have some room for improvement (to put it nicely). ☺
Every day, I will do these exercises morning and night:
source: http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=52449&page=2
All of the other information I found about toning thighs I do at my Body Pump class: squats, lunges, and deadlifts.
I've been doing the Body Pump class usually twice a week, and step aerobics once or twice a week. My goal is to get two days of aerobics every week, and increase the weight I'm using for squats in Body Pump.
One site I was looking at stressed the importance of burning fat (aerobic exercise and eating well) + toning legs (strength training). Otherwise, your nicely sculpted muscles are hidden under a layer of fat. Seriously. Just ask my waist.
As for a thigh number, that's a hard one. I'll measure once a week, which gives me more incentive to keep up with my goals. I'll aim for half an inch loss (measured at the widest part of my thigh) for now.
I selected my thighs. I've never paid much attention to my thighs, and I don't even know what number to aim for, but I can see that they have some room for improvement (to put it nicely). ☺
Every day, I will do these exercises morning and night:
MUSCLE GROUP: OUTER THIGH
Lying Abduction:
  |
|
MUSCLE GROUP: INNER THIGH
Lying Adduction:
|   |
All of the other information I found about toning thighs I do at my Body Pump class: squats, lunges, and deadlifts.
I've been doing the Body Pump class usually twice a week, and step aerobics once or twice a week. My goal is to get two days of aerobics every week, and increase the weight I'm using for squats in Body Pump.
One site I was looking at stressed the importance of burning fat (aerobic exercise and eating well) + toning legs (strength training). Otherwise, your nicely sculpted muscles are hidden under a layer of fat. Seriously. Just ask my waist.
As for a thigh number, that's a hard one. I'll measure once a week, which gives me more incentive to keep up with my goals. I'll aim for half an inch loss (measured at the widest part of my thigh) for now.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
ER&E Report
My friend Amy used to do a weekly ER&E (Eat Right and Exercise) Report. Here goes:
Exercise: I missed Friday (the day after I posted my new goal) I need more strategies to get some form of exercise on days that I don't make it to the gym. For example: a few minutes of pushups and situps or running up and down the stairs in our garage.
Food: I've been using whole wheat flour in place of white flour in many recipes lately. Most of the time you can't tell a difference, or if you can, the difference is delicious! I like pancakes made with whole wheat. White flour? Not so much.
I make green beans from the frozen ones. I add a teaspoon of butter and a teaspoon of olive oil and saute the green beans (you need a good non-stick pan -- mine is hard anodized) in that with seasoned salt and no-salt seasoning (e.g. Mrs. Dash). Put the lid on and steam them until the green beans are tender. yum! I did that same trick tonight with zucchini, mushrooms, bell pepper and green beans. So good. Some days I almost think I could be vegetarian. ha!
Treats: I had yummy chocolate cake Friday night, but only one piece, and nothing else treat-y. I didn't have any other treats the rest of the weekend.
Treat replacement ideas: bite-size frozen bananas, frozen blueberries, cold cereal, green drink.
Exercise: I missed Friday (the day after I posted my new goal) I need more strategies to get some form of exercise on days that I don't make it to the gym. For example: a few minutes of pushups and situps or running up and down the stairs in our garage.
Food: I've been using whole wheat flour in place of white flour in many recipes lately. Most of the time you can't tell a difference, or if you can, the difference is delicious! I like pancakes made with whole wheat. White flour? Not so much.
I make green beans from the frozen ones. I add a teaspoon of butter and a teaspoon of olive oil and saute the green beans (you need a good non-stick pan -- mine is hard anodized) in that with seasoned salt and no-salt seasoning (e.g. Mrs. Dash). Put the lid on and steam them until the green beans are tender. yum! I did that same trick tonight with zucchini, mushrooms, bell pepper and green beans. So good. Some days I almost think I could be vegetarian. ha!
Treats: I had yummy chocolate cake Friday night, but only one piece, and nothing else treat-y. I didn't have any other treats the rest of the weekend.
Treat replacement ideas: bite-size frozen bananas, frozen blueberries, cold cereal, green drink.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Goals
As I was updating my "number," I remembered that I entered my numbers from a year ago, after Evy was born. I weighed 214 a year ago today. 39 pounds. I've worked hard, but I've slipped a lot, too (remember the "Smore's in a pan"?) I've been basically stagnant for six months now. And I'm happy where I am, but I can still see areas that could use a little ... help.
My goal (that I'm sharing in order to give me some accountability) is to exercise 6 days a week. I can walk to pick JuJu up from school (for the next two weeks), I have a great ab workout that I can do, even with kids around. (not to say it's easy with "helpers", but it's possible) Walking on the blackberry trail is one of my favorite things to do. And of course the gym. Six days a week. Got that?
AND I need to do something about sugar. Saying "no sugar" feels like a death sentence. But this free-for-all thing I've been doing has got to stop. Hmm... I used to do no treats on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and that worked pretty well. And luckily, it's Thursday, and I had treats the last three days, so that's an easy one to say right now. ☺
Happy healthy living!
My goal (that I'm sharing in order to give me some accountability) is to exercise 6 days a week. I can walk to pick JuJu up from school (for the next two weeks), I have a great ab workout that I can do, even with kids around. (not to say it's easy with "helpers", but it's possible) Walking on the blackberry trail is one of my favorite things to do. And of course the gym. Six days a week. Got that?
AND I need to do something about sugar. Saying "no sugar" feels like a death sentence. But this free-for-all thing I've been doing has got to stop. Hmm... I used to do no treats on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and that worked pretty well. And luckily, it's Thursday, and I had treats the last three days, so that's an easy one to say right now. ☺
Happy healthy living!
Baby Steps
I skim the Modern Molly Mormon blog and read a good one today with some really great tips in it. I thought I'd pass it along.
One thing she alludes to, but doesn't say it straight out, is that if you "goof" (like eat half a pan of "Smore's in a pan," for example), you can start over right away! You don't have to wait until tomorrow or next Monday to get back on track. Do it now!
☺
One thing she alludes to, but doesn't say it straight out, is that if you "goof" (like eat half a pan of "Smore's in a pan," for example), you can start over right away! You don't have to wait until tomorrow or next Monday to get back on track. Do it now!
☺
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Zumba!
I tried a new class at the gym tonight. My body was not made to move that way. Hip swaying, shoulder shaking, I felt very uncoordinated, but it was a good workout, and I had enough fun that I will give it another chance.
As for my weight fluctuations. argh. It wasn't my fault! My mom and sisters were in town and they practically held a gun to me and forced me to drive them to the Almond Roca factory where I purchased illegal quantities of chocolate-y goodness and consumed much to my heart's content and my behind's detriment. argh. But I'm on my down yet again, and hopefully that will continue, at least until our 3 week drive across America this summer where I will be away from my gym and my green drinks and lentils and rice. Seriously, you have to try this recipe. Make sure you add enough honey and salt and cheese and sour cream. I've been making it every week lately and eating it for lunch several days in a row. Mmmm... And my kids and husband love it, too. darn! ☺
As for my weight fluctuations. argh. It wasn't my fault! My mom and sisters were in town and they practically held a gun to me and forced me to drive them to the Almond Roca factory where I purchased illegal quantities of chocolate-y goodness and consumed much to my heart's content and my behind's detriment. argh. But I'm on my down yet again, and hopefully that will continue, at least until our 3 week drive across America this summer where I will be away from my gym and my green drinks and lentils and rice. Seriously, you have to try this recipe. Make sure you add enough honey and salt and cheese and sour cream. I've been making it every week lately and eating it for lunch several days in a row. Mmmm... And my kids and husband love it, too. darn! ☺
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
A Conversation With Myself at the Gym
Ugh, look at that tummy roll.This is a sampling of the dialogue I had while I worked out tonight. Lovely, huh? The weird thing is I didn't even realize I was doing it until I got home, exploded at my family and then sat and racked my brain for what went wrong. I had a great day today, got a lot accomplished, got to have lots of alone time, went to the gym, and then kaboom! Mommy St. Helens.
I wish I hadn't eaten those animal crackers today.
Why do I do that to myself?
I feel so full and fat.
I ate too much dinner. But it was soooo good. I shouldn't have had that second serving. Why can't I just say no to myself??
Man, my butt looks so big tonight. Did it look this big last week? I think I'm getting fatter, not skinnier.
Why did I eat all that chocolate over the weekend? All the hard work I've done over the past year and I still have that ugly tummy roll and ick, look at that butt again. It looks so wide when I do my squats. If I hadn't eaten second helpings at dinner and chocolate over the weekend I probably wouldn't have that awful tummy roll. Why do I always do that to myself?
Ugh. Yuck. Ick.
Negative self-talk. Never motivates. Never inspires.
Technique 1: Catch yourself doing it, and then turn those thoughts into positives.
For example:
Ugh, look at that tummy roll.
Can you believe I have three kids and it's that small?? I've worked really hard to get it as good as it is!
I wish I hadn't eaten those animal crackers today.
I'm not going to eat any animal crackers tomorrow. Instead I'll eat celery and peanut butter.
I ate too much dinner. But it was soooo good. I shouldn't have had that second serving. Why can't I just say no to myself??
I don't know why I eat second helpings!
Help! I never used to have daily second helpings (pre-Evy). Is it hormones? Stress? Fatigue? (I know I eat more when I'm tired.) I need a plan for dinner. Dish the plates in the kitchen, leave the food in there. Something. Dinner is my biggest struggle. Any suggestions?
Technique 2: Rewind your thoughts.
Once you catch yourself being negative (and catching yourself is the hardest part), stop yourself, mentally back up your train of thoughts and then force yourself to take another mental direction. "I really like this instructor. She makes the workouts so fun. She's getting over a cough, and yet she came tonight. That's because she's an athlete. I'm an athlete, too!" (that's a heckuva lot better than where my thoughts were before!)
I did the thought rewinding technique with a different situation that I was obsessing over several years ago and it worked wonderfully. It took several months of "rewinding" and then forcing myself to think about something benign or positive, but I truly mastered it. I stopped thinking about it and the situation became better just for that.
Monday, March 2, 2009
John and I are off sweets. Here are two great posts he's written about it:
Gettin' Sweaty
Q&A
I love that we're doing this together. It makes me less likely to give in, because he'll harass me if I do. ☺ I'm still hanging out at 175-176, but I'm working really hard, and not discouraged like I was a few weeks ago.
Gettin' Sweaty
Q&A
I love that we're doing this together. It makes me less likely to give in, because he'll harass me if I do. ☺ I'm still hanging out at 175-176, but I'm working really hard, and not discouraged like I was a few weeks ago.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Up again. and back again.
176.
Thanks, stupid food. Extra-sugary and excessive food.
I have several "problems":
I've also been overwhelmed for the past two weeks with surgery, Enrichment, teaching preschool, and birthday party, so I've been tired. I eat when I'm tired. I feel discouraged/depressed/apathetic when I'm tired.
I'm back. And hopefully back down again.
Thanks, stupid food. Extra-sugary and excessive food.
I have several "problems":
- I love food. Especially sugar. I have a hard time limiting my sugar intake. Very hard time. But I am not touching another piece of birthday cake. Hear me?
- I think I'm invincible. "I won't gain weight if I eat this." And I don't, until I eat too much junk for several days or weeks.
- I don't really believe that I can (i.e. want to bad enough) maintain a weight/size smaller than I am right now.
I've also been overwhelmed for the past two weeks with surgery, Enrichment, teaching preschool, and birthday party, so I've been tired. I eat when I'm tired. I feel discouraged/depressed/apathetic when I'm tired.
I'm back. And hopefully back down again.
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